Another effect I experienced was the merging of various senses. Particularly, it felt like the sense of smell and sense of handholdinguality had completely merged.
The 'smell' I described early had gotten so intense that I felt like I was bathing it. I would describe further, but I can't. Not because I have forgotten since, but because I had forgotten right after it happened. I remember 'waking up' at about 9PM with my first thought being 'the feeling is starting to fade away'. I couldn't remember a single thing that happened in the last twelve or so hours. I had spent twelve whole hours in a deep trance doing nothing but staring at CRBA. It was truly like the time dimension had disappeared, and that I was thinking unimaginable things, because suddenly, I could remember anything. Like I had been asleep, but I was awake the whole time.
The following few days I had only started to realize how bizarre what had just happened was. And I continued to feel as if each morning, that it could have all been in a dream. But days turned into months and now years, and I still haven't woken up. So that begs the question, am I still just in one gigantic dream?
In the almost two years since, I actually have not looked at CRBA almost at all, aside from a handful of designated images, because I want to preserve it for if I feel like getting into one of these trances. I don't to ruin them by looking at them casually.
In the following few months after first discovering CRBA, I looked more into AVCHonline. I found various names he used, all of which pen names in different languages. I discovered many other things, including what appeared to be the origin story of CRBA. In 2012, Sean post this artwork (https://www.deviantart.com/avchonline/art/Little-Sean-dance-ballet-330812874) telling the story of how his mother forced him to dress like a little girl. It seems that this later inspired the CRBA series, with the first CRBA artworks being drawn in late 2015, but only being posted around March 2016. I also discovered this very somber one: https://www.deviantart.com/avchonline/art/Trying-to-say-goodbye-330615364
Over time, I became more acquainted with Sean's other series. Including the sonic series, the TrixieSnoopy series, the Lucyan series, the comics featuring his OC, the Umamusume series, the Equion series, the BOV series, and several others. I also began discovering his music on SoundCloud and on YouTube. There were many music series too, the legend of canterlot, the music poems, the CRBA music, glory of equestria, PonyCal, and many others.
Fast forward to September 2025, I launched a site to catalog all of the CRBA artwork (that was not lost) in one place and in the highest quality. About a month later, I launched companion imageboard for the site.
https://crba.dedyn.io
https://ib.crba.dedyn.io
This post skips over a lot and is only a brief summary, but I hope this provides a good appetizer that will lead you down your own spiritual journey with CRBA.
and I'm thankful for you! 
No blackpilling on my hikarinchan. 
